Lately I've become a readaholic ... I just cannot consume enough books. I'm currently on a non-fiction kick where everything I've read has been about blessing the poor. Strangely enough, every time I open my Bible I find verses about blessing the least of these and loving your neighbor as yourself, as well.
As I've researched more and more about poverty around the globe I just weep multiple times a day ... Anything can bring it on: a kiddo falling down and needing a boo-boo kissed makes me pray for those children who have no one to comfort them; having Sawyer ask for milk reminds me of moms who can't even provide their kids clean water, much less milk; walking through the produce section breaks my heart for the places in the world where fresh fruits and vegetables are an unaffordable luxury. Much less medical care, modern conveniences I totally take for granted and just access to practically anything at the touch of a button.
I'm begging God to show me ways I can help ... I believe it's something he doesn't ask, but DEMANDS of His people, and I'm so ready to do something I could just jump out of my skin.
Right now I'm just trying to learn an absolute heart of contentment. I'm becoming much less fascinated with things and praying for purpose. Clearly, I have a purpose to my family, but I'm longing to do something else, more outside my comfort zone ... even if it's in the future.
I'm just praying my heart out and trying to be thankful for the little things ... I'm realizing these are actually big things.
I'm thankful for three healthy babies who do get sick from time to time, but an easy trip to the doctor or drug store provides a quick fix.
I'm thankful for an amazing hubby and partner who cares about loving me in big and small ways.
I'm thankful for grocery stores that have any kind of food I can think of ... Then I simply come home to a modern kitchen filled with appliances and a refrigerator that make my life super easy.
I'm thankful for a washer and dryer... Really.
I'm thankful that ALL of my needs are met... Every day.
I'm thankful to feel safe.
I'm thankful to live in a place that's absolutely beautiful. I never get tired of looking at God's amazing creation.
I'm thankful my problems aren't really problems at all.
I'm thankful I get to spend these precious years with my wee ones at home.
I'm thankful for the pause and break from a fast-paced reality. I'm sure I'll look back at our time in Pennsylvania with absolute fondness. Our simple, easy going days are slow-paced but filled with laughter; unpredictable and finding delight in the ordinary.
I'm thankful for a Jesus who knows how many hairs are on my head and is jealous for my every thought. He is Mighty to Save and worthy of our praise.
I'm so thankful.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever.
-Psalms 118:1 (NLT)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Showing posts with label Thankful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thankful. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Caution: Crazy Roads Ahead
Have you ever had one of those days where you just KNOW God is trying to teach you something? I'm having one of those. Or maybe a week. Or maybe a well, nevermind.
Anyway, I feel like since we got to Pennsylvania I've been praying over what the lesson is that God wants me to learn up here. I've written in my journal countless times that I want to learn it quickly so I can go about my merry way and head on back to Arkansas. But over the last week I've been faced with some somewhat annoying revelations...
Uno. God has to put me in timeout sometimes.
It's true. I feel like sometimes he almost quarantines me from others so that I finally get to a corner and sheepishly say, "Oh, are You trying to tell me something? Did you want to put some input up in here?" He's done this at least two other times in my life ... He keeps knocking and knocking on my door and finally gives me an attention getter that I can't ignore. I don't want to be like that. But fast forward and here I am in Sayre, Pennsylvania (practically distraction free). So clearly, I wasn't listening ... or at least responding. What's amazing is how when I finally get in that quiet spot ... He starts showing me things. One of my favorite lines from Addison Road's song "What Do I Know of Holy" talks about trying to hear from heaven, but then talking the whole time. Oops.
Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and incomprehensible things you do not know.
-Jeremiah 33:3 (HCSB)
Is that all we have to do? Call to Him and He'll start speaking His will over our life? He promises us that He has a purpose and a Plan for us (Jer. 29:11) But if we don't know the plan, how do we know if we're on track?
Recently I was journaling and I told Him that I feel like He's trying to put some blinders on me but that I keep telling Him they don't match my outfit. Because I kinda like the distractions, they're fun and they make me happy. I think. Anybody ... anybody??
Dos. Being kind of cast out of my every day life, and having my somewhat big world turned into an itty bitty one has made me realize how actually small my world was before. That perhaps some of the things that were/are important to me are a little bit narcissistic. It really doesn't matter what my kids have on. Or what I have on. Or if I wore it to bible study last week. What I want to matter is eternal purpose. What I want to hear is "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want to have fought the good fight WELL. Which if I'm searching for matching smocked outfits for Thanksgiving in April is probably not holding eternal value. Just a thought. (disclosure: this is totally me, and I'm totally working through this as I'm going through it, so no judgement for those cute mamas (aka BFFs) that love some cute kid clothes. I'm so with you. Duh)
I've started filling my day with purpose and it's changing me. I've been studying God's word in the morning and pouring out all the good, bad and ugly to Him. During my Arbonne days I remember people having breakouts sometimes when they first got on the skincare. I tried to encourage them to press forward because it was a detox and it was going to bring all the impurities to the surface before it could start cell turnover and renewal, etc. That's kind of where I am. God's bringing some yucky stuff to the surface. Some of the me, me, me stuff. And it's not pretty.
I've also spent my days listening to the audio mp3s for the Five Aspects of Womanhood study by Barbara Mouser. I put it on my headphones and listen to it while I'm cleaning the house or hiding from my kids. She is reading a textbook and it's kind of monotone, but if you get through that there is some major meat in those lessons. I listened to the last one yesterday and I'm going to restart them Monday. I could listen to one a day forever and always learn something new.
Lastly, I've been immersing myself in Christian literature. If I'm not cooking or cleaning, I'm reading one of four books that are so stinkin' profound I spend half the time crying over where my life is heading.
Tres. I could just plan my life away. Right now I could literally map out for the fam a grand life of suburban delight in which everything is just dandy. Perfect golf course house on a tree lined street with three well-dressed, bible-reciting kiddos and, and, and... And, honestly, that sounds dreamy.
But, maybe there's more.
Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.
-Psalms 37:4 (NLT)
When I was younger I thought this meant that as long as I was doing all the christiany things I was supposed to then God would give me most of the stuff I wanted. Isn't God the best?
Then I realized that's not really what He's saying (Darn!). I think he means that as we pursue Him, as we call out to Him, He'll change the desires of His heart to things in His plan... Kinda feels like He's pulling a fast one. But I'm thinking that maybe if I put on those outdated blinders and look with fresh eyes I'll see things more clearly. That maybe His plans could be better than My plans. What a novel thought.
This living away thing is hard. It's totally stretching me in crazy, crazy ways. I don't think I realized how much I relied on the human strength of those around me until they were gone. Thank goodness for Facetime, Facebook, e-mail, text and cell phones with unlimited mobile-to-mobile. But, thank GOD for His precious word that is truly alive and active, and totally changing my views and desires ...
I feel a crazy ride ahead ... and I'm pumped.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Anyway, I feel like since we got to Pennsylvania I've been praying over what the lesson is that God wants me to learn up here. I've written in my journal countless times that I want to learn it quickly so I can go about my merry way and head on back to Arkansas. But over the last week I've been faced with some somewhat annoying revelations...
Uno. God has to put me in timeout sometimes.
It's true. I feel like sometimes he almost quarantines me from others so that I finally get to a corner and sheepishly say, "Oh, are You trying to tell me something? Did you want to put some input up in here?" He's done this at least two other times in my life ... He keeps knocking and knocking on my door and finally gives me an attention getter that I can't ignore. I don't want to be like that. But fast forward and here I am in Sayre, Pennsylvania (practically distraction free). So clearly, I wasn't listening ... or at least responding. What's amazing is how when I finally get in that quiet spot ... He starts showing me things. One of my favorite lines from Addison Road's song "What Do I Know of Holy" talks about trying to hear from heaven, but then talking the whole time. Oops.
Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and incomprehensible things you do not know.
-Jeremiah 33:3 (HCSB)
Is that all we have to do? Call to Him and He'll start speaking His will over our life? He promises us that He has a purpose and a Plan for us (Jer. 29:11) But if we don't know the plan, how do we know if we're on track?
Recently I was journaling and I told Him that I feel like He's trying to put some blinders on me but that I keep telling Him they don't match my outfit. Because I kinda like the distractions, they're fun and they make me happy. I think. Anybody ... anybody??
Dos. Being kind of cast out of my every day life, and having my somewhat big world turned into an itty bitty one has made me realize how actually small my world was before. That perhaps some of the things that were/are important to me are a little bit narcissistic. It really doesn't matter what my kids have on. Or what I have on. Or if I wore it to bible study last week. What I want to matter is eternal purpose. What I want to hear is "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want to have fought the good fight WELL. Which if I'm searching for matching smocked outfits for Thanksgiving in April is probably not holding eternal value. Just a thought. (disclosure: this is totally me, and I'm totally working through this as I'm going through it, so no judgement for those cute mamas (aka BFFs) that love some cute kid clothes. I'm so with you. Duh)
I've started filling my day with purpose and it's changing me. I've been studying God's word in the morning and pouring out all the good, bad and ugly to Him. During my Arbonne days I remember people having breakouts sometimes when they first got on the skincare. I tried to encourage them to press forward because it was a detox and it was going to bring all the impurities to the surface before it could start cell turnover and renewal, etc. That's kind of where I am. God's bringing some yucky stuff to the surface. Some of the me, me, me stuff. And it's not pretty.
I've also spent my days listening to the audio mp3s for the Five Aspects of Womanhood study by Barbara Mouser. I put it on my headphones and listen to it while I'm cleaning the house or hiding from my kids. She is reading a textbook and it's kind of monotone, but if you get through that there is some major meat in those lessons. I listened to the last one yesterday and I'm going to restart them Monday. I could listen to one a day forever and always learn something new.
Lastly, I've been immersing myself in Christian literature. If I'm not cooking or cleaning, I'm reading one of four books that are so stinkin' profound I spend half the time crying over where my life is heading.
Tres. I could just plan my life away. Right now I could literally map out for the fam a grand life of suburban delight in which everything is just dandy. Perfect golf course house on a tree lined street with three well-dressed, bible-reciting kiddos and, and, and... And, honestly, that sounds dreamy.
But, maybe there's more.
Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.
-Psalms 37:4 (NLT)
When I was younger I thought this meant that as long as I was doing all the christiany things I was supposed to then God would give me most of the stuff I wanted. Isn't God the best?
Then I realized that's not really what He's saying (Darn!). I think he means that as we pursue Him, as we call out to Him, He'll change the desires of His heart to things in His plan... Kinda feels like He's pulling a fast one. But I'm thinking that maybe if I put on those outdated blinders and look with fresh eyes I'll see things more clearly. That maybe His plans could be better than My plans. What a novel thought.
This living away thing is hard. It's totally stretching me in crazy, crazy ways. I don't think I realized how much I relied on the human strength of those around me until they were gone. Thank goodness for Facetime, Facebook, e-mail, text and cell phones with unlimited mobile-to-mobile. But, thank GOD for His precious word that is truly alive and active, and totally changing my views and desires ...
I feel a crazy ride ahead ... and I'm pumped.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Mornings
I am totally a morning person. I love waking up to sunshine (or these days waiting on the sunshine at 5:30) making my coffee, reading my bible, doodling notes, and just getting ready for the day. I love waiting on each little one to wake up and getting to love on their sleepy head. They just seem sweeter in the mornings. I'm even sweeter in the morning. I pretty much need a sign on my forehead that says "visiting hours are over at 10pm." I'm just kinda done with people by then. No offense, people. :)
I just love watching them roll around the living room being silly, watching Little Bear and drinking juice in their jammies.
I snapped this picture and it seriously makes me cry! I'm very visual, I really think I have a photographic memory. Thats how I would study for tests in high school (notice I didn't say college, because I didn't do much studying in college).
I would work on just taking mental photos of my notes and pages in textbooks. When the test came around I would literally search my brain for the place in my notes for the answer. I also can pretty much tell you what myself and anyone I was with was wearing at any given event, holiday, playdate over the last 10 years ... Weird. Weird.
But, when I think of my kiddos, this is the mental snapshot that comes to mind. Not wearing smocked lovelies and Sunday best ... But, them rolling around my living room watching cartoons and having bedhead. I think when they're older, this is one of the things I'll miss the most ...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I just love watching them roll around the living room being silly, watching Little Bear and drinking juice in their jammies.
I snapped this picture and it seriously makes me cry! I'm very visual, I really think I have a photographic memory. Thats how I would study for tests in high school (notice I didn't say college, because I didn't do much studying in college).
I would work on just taking mental photos of my notes and pages in textbooks. When the test came around I would literally search my brain for the place in my notes for the answer. I also can pretty much tell you what myself and anyone I was with was wearing at any given event, holiday, playdate over the last 10 years ... Weird. Weird.
But, when I think of my kiddos, this is the mental snapshot that comes to mind. Not wearing smocked lovelies and Sunday best ... But, them rolling around my living room watching cartoons and having bedhead. I think when they're older, this is one of the things I'll miss the most ...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Philippians 1:3
I'm not a very good friend right now. I'm definitely not fun, or funny, and probably wouldn't be a very good listener. And for SOME reason I have the SWEETEST friends that have thought to make me dinner, send me messages, facebook emails, calls, sweet cards and even gift cards to get snacks at some of my favorite stops. I don't know why God cares about such little things, but apparently He does. Which is so amazing.
So, just wanted to say THANK YOU to my oh-so-sweet friends who have reached out to me over the last couple weeks. I can whole-heartedly say MARCH 2011 has been one of the hardest months of. my. life. For a gazillion different things that probably isn't appropriate for a general audience going out to who knows where. But, God has met so many needs in so many ways and I'm thankful that he cares, and that He's there and oh-so-thankful for friends.
I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3
So, just wanted to say THANK YOU to my oh-so-sweet friends who have reached out to me over the last couple weeks. I can whole-heartedly say MARCH 2011 has been one of the hardest months of. my. life. For a gazillion different things that probably isn't appropriate for a general audience going out to who knows where. But, God has met so many needs in so many ways and I'm thankful that he cares, and that He's there and oh-so-thankful for friends.
I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Happy Post
Happy Post... Because I needed to change it up a little. I have gotten wayyy too much love after my last post and in case anyone was worried I was planning on packing my bags I wanted to clear the air. ;)
So to do that ... I give you a lunch of Taco Bueno.
Last night we spent the night with my mom because she loves me and said she would keep all my little chickens while I went to my bible study brunch this morning. It was a great morning and I loved my little break for a couple hours. I came back to her house, packed up my crew and started the longer-than-I-would-like trek back to Bryant.
Of COURSE Avery and Dalton fell asleep and since they had already had lunch I spent the 30 minute drive deciding where I would run through to get something for myself. I decided Taco Bueno. Because I'm in to healthy. Fat free. Organic cuisine. Obviously.
I brought in all three babies to put them night night and settled in to catch up on the last episode of Parenthood. It didn't take long before my kids sniffed out my food and came in to pile on the couch with me. For some reason I thought it was beyond cute. So, I snapped a pic. Here they are. Eating their veggies ... Or tacos and muchachos. :)
See, I like them. :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
So to do that ... I give you a lunch of Taco Bueno.
Last night we spent the night with my mom because she loves me and said she would keep all my little chickens while I went to my bible study brunch this morning. It was a great morning and I loved my little break for a couple hours. I came back to her house, packed up my crew and started the longer-than-I-would-like trek back to Bryant.
Of COURSE Avery and Dalton fell asleep and since they had already had lunch I spent the 30 minute drive deciding where I would run through to get something for myself. I decided Taco Bueno. Because I'm in to healthy. Fat free. Organic cuisine. Obviously.
I brought in all three babies to put them night night and settled in to catch up on the last episode of Parenthood. It didn't take long before my kids sniffed out my food and came in to pile on the couch with me. For some reason I thought it was beyond cute. So, I snapped a pic. Here they are. Eating their veggies ... Or tacos and muchachos. :)
See, I like them. :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Blessings in the Chaos
The last 24 hours-ish have been somewhat ... Hellacious. Completely overwhelming. I imagine that when people are contemplating having kids and they go through pros and cons, days like today run rampant in their brains before they decide, "I'm not ready."
I can't even tell you what all made it overwhelming ... Maybe the looooonngg night preceding the day. Maybe the stir-craziness of cabin fever setting in from several snow days. Maybe that Sawyer seemed to cry all day today and just really was only content being held. Maybe it was that everyone napped at different times, so I never really had a down moment. Maybe it was Aaron telling me this afternoon he had a 6:30 meeting tonight and 8 o'clock b-ball practice.
I'm not sure. But it was a hard day. However, as I sat down on the bathtub for what I was sure to be an emotional breakdown I felt myself get wrapped up in a wave of thankfulness for a million different blessings. And of course very close to the top of the list were my three favorite yayhoots. Avery. Dalton. and Sawyer.
Sawyer finally did pipe down, take some Tylenol and go to sleep. I ordered pizza for A & D because I didn't even have the energy to put a frozen pizza in the oven ... Much less clean up the kitchen ... Again.
And then, With the craziest of days behind me, I lit a firelog, curled up on the floor with Avery's ladybug pillow pet while my bambinos ate their personal pan pizzas and turned on "The Princess and the Frog," and told God how thankful I was for the chaos.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I can't even tell you what all made it overwhelming ... Maybe the looooonngg night preceding the day. Maybe the stir-craziness of cabin fever setting in from several snow days. Maybe that Sawyer seemed to cry all day today and just really was only content being held. Maybe it was that everyone napped at different times, so I never really had a down moment. Maybe it was Aaron telling me this afternoon he had a 6:30 meeting tonight and 8 o'clock b-ball practice.
I'm not sure. But it was a hard day. However, as I sat down on the bathtub for what I was sure to be an emotional breakdown I felt myself get wrapped up in a wave of thankfulness for a million different blessings. And of course very close to the top of the list were my three favorite yayhoots. Avery. Dalton. and Sawyer.
Sawyer finally did pipe down, take some Tylenol and go to sleep. I ordered pizza for A & D because I didn't even have the energy to put a frozen pizza in the oven ... Much less clean up the kitchen ... Again.
And then, With the craziest of days behind me, I lit a firelog, curled up on the floor with Avery's ladybug pillow pet while my bambinos ate their personal pan pizzas and turned on "The Princess and the Frog," and told God how thankful I was for the chaos.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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